Global ADHD Awareness Month!!!

You heard right! October is Global ADHD Awareness Month. Please enjoy this video in celebration:

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~WHN

ADHD Video

Videos. Videos. And more videos! Sorry, guys, still getting back into my school routine and working on managing my time with lots of new crazy stuff going on. I promise as soon as i have one, i will post a new interesting think piece or in dept analysis of ADHD or Anxiety. But until then, enjoy the videos!

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~WHN

29 Things Only People with ADHD Would Understand

I found this post very true and funny. I would recommend reading it if you have ADHD, its great for a laugh! 🙂

http://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/would-understand

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~WHN

Anxiety Girl

I have been wanting to write more about Anxiety but I have been nervous about how to present the subject in the best light. Yes, the irony that I was nervous about writing about Anxiety is not lost on me. I guess I could start by telling you all a story about the irony about my Anxiety.

As some of you know, I am an advocate in my community for Learning Disorders and other disorders that affect learning, like ADHD, Anxiety, Autism, and Depression. The other key thing to know going into this story is that I have a serious phobia of bees, wasps, and hornets. So there I was, talking and talking, lecturing on about the physical dangers of a panic attack when I see a wasp float down from the ceiling. I froze. Was this really happening to me? I could feel my heart rate quicken and my palms become sweaty. I trembled as I tried to keep talking about the dangers of a panic attack, while I was trying to hide the fact that I was experiencing one. Thump. Thump. My heart beat pounded faster and faster. Images of the wasp landing on me spun through my head. My eyes watered as a choked sob tried to make its way out. I took a deep breath. I handed off the mic to my partner to finish my speech. She took it and keep on. I quickly, but as calmly as I could, sprinted for the door of the room. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. Once in the hallway, I sank down against a wall. I raked my fingers threw my hair as I fought to calm down. My mind was racing a mile a minute. My heart still pounded in my chest. I stood up with determination once I had regained some composure. I was not, not going to let my demons defeat me. I was not going to let that wasp, no bigger than my pinky finger keep me from delivering my speech and living my passion. I walked calmly back into the room, rubbing my sweaty palms on my skirt. I caught up with were the lecture was and finished my speech.

Now this day was a big one for me. The irony of that situation was never lost on me. But experiencing all that I had made me think. I was confronted with one of the most terrifying things in my life while I was living my passion. But I always give myself credit for returning to the speech instead of hiding like I had done so many times in the past. I did not let my demons keep me from living my dreams that day. I have had many a panic attacks since that day.

Anxiety is something I, like many others, have struggled with for all our lives. Anxiety is a real disease. Too many people dismiss it as something that is not serious, something that does not deserve the public’s attention. Here is the thing with anxiety, everyone knows what it feels like. I never have, nor probably ever will, meet a person who has never felt the effects of anxiety. What people don’t understand, is how much worse and frequent that feeling is for people with Anxiety Disorders.

Still don’t believe me? Here are some facts brought to you by ADAA, the Anxiety and Depression Association of America:

Did You Know?
-Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18% of U.S. population).
-Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only about one-third of those suffering receive treatment.
-Anxiety disorders cost the U.S. more than $42 billion a year, almost one-third of the country’s $148 billion total mental health bill, according to “The Economic Burden of Anxiety Disorders,” a study commissioned by ADAA (The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 60(7), July 1999).
-More than $22.84 billion of those costs are associated with the repeated use of health care services; people with anxiety disorders seek relief for symptoms that mimic physical illnesses.
-People with an anxiety disorder are three to five times more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who do not suffer from anxiety disorders.
-Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events

I will continue to talk about Anxiety until it is recognized as a serious issue. After all, it is the NUMBER 1 mental illness in the U.S.

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~WHN

Misery Loves Company

Now as all my readers should know, I have ADHD. But as the saying goes, misery loves company. That is why 2/3 of people with ADHD also have another disorder ranging from Dyslexia to Autism to Anxiety Disorder(s). Now ADHD loves having a buddy, but does not always coexist peacefully, at least not for me.

I have Anxiety as my ‘buddy’ disorder. I have been diagnosed for only a year now. Anxiety and ADHD do not sit comfortably with one another. ADHD likes to be spontaneous and impulsive. Anxiety likes carefully and meticulous planning. Sometimes I feel like my mind is in the middle of a constant tug-of-war between these polar opposite disorders. I have often said its like I have two separate personalities. One being the days were ADHD is winning the competition and the other when Anxiety is. During the school year, I most often fine myself in Anxiety mode, where summer is devoted to spending quality time with my ADHD side.

Here is the difference: medication. Yes, I take Adderall for my ADHD. When I am on my medicine, the ADHD mostly goes away, leaving my mind fresh for the taking by Anxiety. Also, with my meds. I can focus better. That means, if I am experiencing Anxiety, I focus extra hard on that. This does not help my Anxiety. As a result of the over-focusing, my Anxiety is much harder to control. When I am ruled by Anxiety, I am a different person. I am quiet, thoughtful, calm (sometimes!), and moody. I get better grades when I am on my medicine but every good thing comes at a price. Most people prefer me when I am on my meds. I am more level-headed and charming. I am a better people-person, even though I suffer from social-anxiety. That’s right! A social person with social anxiety!

Now the other side, the ADHD ruled side is my least favorite ‘mode’ to be in. I have made my peace with having ADHD but that doesn’t mean I have come to terms with all that comes with this ‘gift’. When I am in ADHD mode I am scatter-brained, I forget EVERYTHING, and I can’t keep attention on anything for more than a minute. The one things I enjoy having ADHD is the miracle of hyper-focusing (a topic for another post!) and my creative mind. I feel much more creative and free. Sure, I am impulsive and spontaneous but that just helps me come up with great ideas (like this blog!).

But here is my biggest struggle. I prefer to be in Anxiety mode because I feel like most people like me better that way. However, my friends think my ADHD is more fun. Even people closest to me prefer my Anxiety side because I’m not forgetting everything and I am much more calm. But which of these two different personalities is the real me? The ADHD one because that’s when i am not medicated and naturally me. Or am I truly more the Anxiety side of the spectrum because that is how I am most of the time? Do you see my dilemma? People like the me that is made artificially with meds. I just wish more people liked me for me. Both ways.

Let me know your thoughts on this topic!
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~WHN

Into the ADHD Mind (part 1): Dreams

I know how much you, my lovely readers, love my posts about ADHD so i decided to start a series called “Into the ADHD Mind”. In this series I plan to talk more about my experiences with ADHD to better explain what goes on in an ADHD mind. I hope this will help others dealing with their own ADHD and caregivers of people and children with ADHD. So then, let’s get to it!

The average person falls asleep within 3 minutes of lying still. It can take me upwards of 30 minutes to wind down and shut down my mind enough to fall asleep. During this time of trying to wind down is an onslaught of everything. Bits of conversations, music, and TV shows. Images flip through my mind like a slideshow. Ideas and memories flow through like Niagara Falls. This is all happening at once. Constant onslaught of all of this. For those of you who do not have ADHD this may seem overwhelming but this is how my mind runs all day, everyday (i’m use to it!). This slideshow becomes worse when i settle down to try to fall asleep. This is the point of the day when I am most creative. It also tends to be the time I am most awake and alert. Yes, I am most awake when its 9-11 at night and i am being told to go to bed. Now I can usually help slow down the slideshow using a variety of techniques. First, and most effective (for me) is to listen to music. I tend to listen to 4 songs before i go to bed. Each song is of a different genre of music. I listen to a pop song. I repeat the words in my mind. By doing so i block out everything else trying to stream through. Then I listen to a catchy song. Normally a song from My Little Pony, because, lets face it, little kids’ shows have all the best catchy songs. I purposefully get the song stuck in my head. With the song stuck in my head. The onslaught slows down as most of my brain power is focused on singing the song. It is really effective. Then is a song with a hard beat and dramatic melody. This song tends not to have any words because i am still keeping the 2nd song stuck in my head. The 3rd song is to help me focus on my breathing at a steady pace to wind down. The last song is a slow, instrumental song that takes me down into a sleep-like/meditative state. By this point I am usually able to fall asleep. The last song is played very quietly so that i really have to concentrate to heard it. This helps keep Niagara Falls at bay. The biggest issue with this routine is that it take close to 20 minutes. So it is not quick per say but it is effective.
Other solutions: one other solution i have tried but is not as effective (for me) is to concentrate on the work “blank”. I try to really picture a while blank room in my mind and practice keeping all the windows and doors shut as the river of ADHD tries to break through and take over again. This is difficult but sometimes it works. I also find it as good practice for clearing my mind which is VERY difficult for me to do. I also count. Sheep. Pigs. Cows. What ever I am feeling like. The problem with this is i end up naming all the sheep and making them clothes and then we all go on grand adventures together. So not the most effective for me.

Now lets say i have fallen asleep, here comes the much more interesting part.

The average person has 7 dreams a night. When you ready you enter what is know as REM sleep. This is when you have your lucid, almost real dreams. People with ADHD tend to have about 3 dreams a night. Here’s why, our minds do not shut down enough to enter REM sleep most of the time. As a result people with ADHD dream less often. But when we do, its nothing like you will ever experience. ADHD dreams are more life like, colorful, and loud than an average’s person’s dream. ADHD people also can remember their dreams far better than the average person. I remember most of my dreams days after. i still have dreams that i had months to even years ago that i still remember in vivid detail. As a project for school we had to keep a dream journal for a couple weeks. But I woke up most mornings without dreaming. However, since i remember dreams i have i simply wrote down in vivid detail all that i remembered, even though some of them were months old. Let’s take a look into my dreams.

“Yesterday was pretty clearly semi. My dream reflected the excitement of semi. This dream was not particularly long because it was hard to fall asleep with the chaos going on in my mind which was reflected in the dream. The dream was one of the most chaotic of all my ADHD dreams. Song lyrics from various songs would blast through my mind randomly at full volume. Lights of the strobe lights on the dance floor would flash through my mind just (or more) vibrantly than they had at semi. BLUE. PURPLE. PINK. WHITE. FLASH. FLASH. like a strobe light. Can you have a seizure while you sleep from a strobe light in you dream? Quick couple seconds of the dancing would flash through in sync with the flashes of the lights. It was chaos. I kept waking up because of the chaos but every time I fell asleep it would start up again. “

Some important things to point out here. When I “ADHD” dream i can hear music and sound as loud, or louder, as they would occur while I am awake. My “ADHD” dreams have no plot or story line. They are just chaos like I described above. When I have these kinds of dreams I often wake up more tired then when I fell asleep.

Here is another “ADHD” dream:

“This dream is hard to describe. There were so many images that flashed in. The scene changed constantly like watch 10 movies all playing together into one movie. The scenes were very vivid in color and sound. There was music playing in the background as vividly as if I was wearing headphones. Many of the pictures were of school. Things about test/Quizzes. Conversations. Bits of lectures given in various classes. Other scenes were of various thoughts, stories I read, or videos I had watched. Lots of talking from various conversations from various people. To anyone else this seems crazy and confusing but I am able to follow along because it is like I am sitting in the middle and these images, sounds, and feeling just swirl around me constantly. It didn’t seem like my eyes were open but yet I was still seeing the images. “

Again, notice how vivid this is. Also how chaotic it is.

Now, when I do dream, it isn’t always an “ADHD” dream. I do have ‘regular’ dreams about daily life with plot lines and characters. But these dreams I do not remember as well. Then there is a third type of dream. My “Anxiety Dreams”. These are important because they are normally about me pushing my limits and conquering my fears and having positive experiences overcoming my fears. I wake up feeling empowered and satisfied. They tend to be a combination of a ‘regular’ dream and an “ADHD” dream. Here is an example:

“Last night my dream was more than interesting. This giant wild beast kept running through the forest near our house causing us to hide. We hide many times in fear for our lives that night. Once the giant creature picked up our house and I thought for sure we were going to die. But I looked the monster in the eye and commanded that he put us down. Seeing my determination, it let us go. Now I don’t really remember what the monster looked like but it seemed to be the embodiment of fear. After, we still saw the monster but it never bothered us again. But still, I remained on guard, always looking over my shoulder for the creature of fear.”

Notice how it is both vivid but also a story.

Well, I hoped this posted helped you or helped you come to a better understanding. If not, I hope you enjoyed it anyways. Thanks.

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~WHN

You Decide!

So lately I have been getting a TON of comments requesting that I “write more about this topic”. But here is the problem, what topic? I am glad to write more about topics but I need to know what these topics are. So below is a poll and you all get to vote on what my next couple of posts are about. So help me out and please vote!!

Thanks for your support!!

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~WHN

Is there too much emphasis put on grades?

YES!!!! There definitely is too much emphasis placed on grades. The idea of grades themselves is where the error comes into play. It is a set system that judges everyone on a set standards of performance of pre-determined skills. Tests tend to test one’s retention and understanding of material. But some people are better at these skills than others but that does not mean that the people with better grades have a better potential for learning, it means that they are better at a certain style of learning. Also everyone perceives and understands information differently and by testing everyone to see who understand the material based on the most common understanding is also wrong. Judging everyone under the same system is ridiculous, it is the common belief that people with A’s are the best and brightest people who either have a profound natural talent for the subject or put in the utmost amount of effort to perfect their performance skills to test well. This means that people who receive lower grades are deemed stupid and/or lazy. As a person who has experienced this judgment of smarts based on low grades as a result of laziness, I know just how wrong this is. Believe it or not, this A-average student was once a C-average student because no one understood that I learned differently, instead I was labeled lazy and lacking motive. But I tried my best but I still couldn’t keep up with my peers who fit the norm better than I did. Only once I received some understanding and encouragement I was able to learn how learn the ‘normal’ way and my inner best was able to shine. I know that too many people never found understanding and therefor may go through their entire lives thinking they are a failure at learning. Being around people who learn differently than the norm, I have an understanding that one, set standard of learning and testing will make bright students fall through the cracks because if they do their best and it is grades three levels below the best of another student, they judge themselves as stupid with the inability to learn. Am A means that it is the best a student could do, but not everyone’s best is at the same ‘level’ so shouldn’t grades be more individualized based on effort? Then it will be easier to judge who doing their best is based on how much effort they are putting in. But then how do you judge effort? The idea of grading who is doing their best has so many faults that the system needs a total over haul.

Bad Day :(

hey readers,

I was planning on writing a different post this week but something happened today that really bothered me that I want to get out instead. Any of my long time readers will know that I run a program at my school that spreads awareness on Learning Disorders and the like to stamp out discrimination against these sorts of people. Now the program has been great and hugely successful, accommodations are being implemented in classrooms, everything has been going great. But today in a Lifestyles class we were talking about improving work places and classrooms to be more inviting places to work or lean. There were a bunch of great ideas which I really like. Then we started talking about painting he walls blues, greens, and pinks. Okay, still not bad. Then my peers keeping running with this idea to murals and lots of colorful posters on the walls. And I was sitting there like, no! I can imagine how distraction that would be for me, someone with ADHD, to have to work or learn in an environment like that. Well, one of my peers was thinking along he same lines but this was her comment, “But for that you couldn’t like hire someone bad like someone with ADHD”. I honestly literally almost stood up and left. I had been having a some what crappy day but that just offended me and I took it to heart. I didn’t say anything but I just can’t get her comment out of my mind. Here I am thinking I am making a difference and everything is great. Now, I am not so sure. Why must there be such discrimination for people who are different? Well that was a small glimpse into my bad day but I hope you all had a better day!

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~WHN

Rolling with the Punches

I know it has been forever since I posted. But my old laptop died Monday with created all sorts of unimaginable chaos for me at school. Luckily, I did not lose two years of information from my old laptop because I was able to remove my old hard drive and I have a device that allows me to plug it in to my new laptop with a USB cord. But even still, those documents, pictures, and everything are not on my new laptop. Not to mention having to write an essay in 40 during class on a new laptop that I had gotten the night before. Even still, I am setting up this new computer and still getting use to it.

This whole chaotic week which was much worse than what I have explained above has taught me to roll with the punches. I am not normally one to be calm in change and this week has tested me. But its over and a new week begins. *Deep breath* I just have to let the good times flow and roll with the bad ones. I am learning.

My week wasn’t totally bad. I know I have mentioned before that I started a club that teaches and spreads awareness about learning disorders and other disorders and this past week’s meeting was the best and most rewarding meeting since the club’s founding. The room was full of people. Students, teachers, and even the principal! They were all engaged and eager to learn about ADHD. The meeting was so self-satisfying seeing all my hard work pay off. I cant wait until the next meeting.

Thought Provoking Question of the Week: What was the hardest decision you have ever had to make? Why was it so hard? Do you still think you made the right choice?

I will answer this question in the next post. I want to hear some of your responses to comment below!

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~WHN